8.26.2009

really though.

hey, so this is how it is. I am stuck in this situation. still unknowing, even though I know what I want. I can't tell what is supposed to happen or what I'm supposed to do. am I to blindly feel my way through this? I have to overcome the idea that I have to work at this. to communicate. Im so lost. so confused. I feel like I should know. I've grown accustomed to not overanalyzing things to the point of irritation and further confusion. when I just let things happen I feel just as confused.

last nite I felt so alone. I've been listening to the same records on repeat. that's just how I feel. stuck in the same groove as the day before, but the time is different the air is different. the sense of belonging doesn't change though. I just want someone to connect to me the way I see connections in others.

disconnection hurts more than any thing I can think of.

the weight of love is something I crave so desperately I feel like I'm floating. I want to be closer to the earth through love. weighted down by thoughts of love, infinite.

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