sometimes it's hard to imagine being affected by something completely intangible. something that you want to become wrapped up in but have no idea what it looks like or how strong it can hold you. it can choke you up. something that you want to feel because you've never felt it. it's a curiosity almost. i spend so long looking for this, but I don't even know where to look or what to look for. i'll spend my whole life looking, who knows if i'll find it. just let it find me I guess. jesus. sometimes I feel like there are cobwebs in my heart.


anyway. I've been reading A Heartbreaking Work of a Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers. this book is amazing. I started reading on sunday, basically. saturday I was feel a little out of place so I didn't read anything. but on sunday and yesterday I couldn't put the damn thing down. I'm literally obsessed with J.D. Salinger. he could write straight from the heart and relate to any jerk that picked up his books. especially (obviously) Catcher in the Rye. Eggers like is the reincarnation. fucking astounding. I'm bummed because I forgot to renew the dang thing at the library and now I have to return and I'm only on page 231. fuck. oh well. I'll finish it up at powells or something.

de la soul was amazing btw.

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